I don't think you want to hear my origin story.


But you can ask me any question you want once we meet. For now though, we need to find out if we're compatible as humans. So, here are a few things that I feel strongly about...


Be kind to animals.

Swearing helps relieve tension and stress.

You should hold doors open for people.

Tip your server.

Outside is better than inside.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Marlon Brando said that.

If you start it, finish it.

Christian Bale was the best Batman.

Wait for it to go on sale.

Always leave the last bit of a dessert for your wife to have.

Don't make people wait for you.

Trends don't last. Thats why they're trends.

Leave a small footprint.

Get the Tattoo.

Sing the song, even if you're terrible at it.

Don't raise your voice in an argument. Improve your point.

Know your mailman's name.

Be great at two things. Keep the second one a secret.


If you can get on board with some of that, I think we'll get along just fine.






Joe is a Middletown, RI native, and lives there with his wife, Steph, and two sons, Shea + Finnegan